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The Writing on the Wall


   The following quotes were found on men's room walls around the country:

   "What are you looking up on the wall for?  The joke is in your hands."  - Mens room, Lynagh's Bar, Lexington, KY.

   "No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit."  - Men's room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, NC.

   "If you can piss this high, join the fire department."  - on the wall in the men's restroom at a height of 6 ft., O'Ryan's Irish Pub, Ashland, OR.

   "Beauty is only a light switch away"  - Perkins Library, Duke University.

   "I've decided that to raise my grades, I must lower my standards."  - Houghton Library, Harvard University.

   "If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives."  - Maggie's Pizza, Washington, D.C.

   "If Bush were captain of the Titanic, he'd say we were stopping for ice."  -Smoky Joe's, Philadelphia, PA.

   "Remember, it's not, 'How high are you?'  It's 'Hi, how are you?"  - Rest Stop off Route 81, West Virginia.

   "Beware of limbo dancers"  - On the bottom of the stall door, Women's bathroom, Broad Ripple Brew Pub, Indianapolis, IA.

   "God made pot.  Man made beer.  Who do you trust?"  - The Irish Times, Washington, D.C.

   "It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere."  - Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, AZ.

   "Make love, not war.  Hell, do both; get married!"  - Women's restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT.

   "If voting could really change things, it would be illegal."  - Revolution Books, NY.

   "A woman's rule of thumb:  If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it."  - Women's restroom, Dallas, TX.

   "Jesus saves!  But wouldn't it have been better if he had invested?"  - Men's restroom, American University.

   "Just 'cause it's clean don't mean it's fresh."  - Port-O'-John's, Acadia Nat'l Park, Maine.

   "If PRO is opposite of CON, then what is the opposite of PROGRESS?  CONGRESS!"  - Men's restroom, House of Representatives, Washington, D.C.

   "Bill Clinton threw up here."  - The Oyster Bar, Little Rock, AK.

   "I used to be into necrophilia and bestiality... but then I realized I was just kicking a dead horse."  - The Cellar Restaurant, VA.

   "If it wasn't intended to be eaten, it wouldn't be shaped like a taco."  - Nathan's, Washington, D.C.

   "Hey Nike, I just did it!"  - Tastee Diner, Bethesda, MD

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Last updated 2004-04-11