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The Writing on the Wall The following quotes were found on men's room walls around the country: "What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands." - Mens room, Lynagh's Bar, Lexington, KY. "No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit." - Men's room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, NC. "If you can piss this high, join the fire department." - on the wall in the men's restroom at a height of 6 ft., O'Ryan's Irish Pub, Ashland, OR. "Beauty is only a light switch away" - Perkins Library, Duke University. "I've decided that to raise my grades, I must lower my standards." - Houghton Library, Harvard University. "If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives." - Maggie's Pizza, Washington, D.C. "If Bush were captain of the Titanic, he'd say we were stopping for ice." -Smoky Joe's, Philadelphia, PA. "Remember, it's not, 'How high are you?' It's 'Hi, how are you?" - Rest Stop off Route 81, West Virginia. "Beware of limbo dancers" - On the bottom of the stall door, Women's bathroom, Broad Ripple Brew Pub, Indianapolis, IA. "God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?" - The Irish Times, Washington, D.C. "It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere." - Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, AZ. "Make love, not war. Hell, do both; get married!" - Women's restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT. "If voting could really change things, it would be illegal." - Revolution Books, NY. "A woman's rule of thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it." - Women's restroom, Dallas, TX. "Jesus saves! But wouldn't it have been better if he had invested?" - Men's restroom, American University. "Just 'cause it's clean don't mean it's fresh." - Port-O'-John's, Acadia Nat'l Park, Maine. "If PRO is opposite of CON, then what is the opposite of PROGRESS? CONGRESS!" - Men's restroom, House of Representatives, Washington, D.C. "Bill Clinton threw up here." - The Oyster Bar, Little Rock, AK. "I used to be into necrophilia and bestiality... but then I realized I was just kicking a dead horse." - The Cellar Restaurant, VA. "If it wasn't intended to be eaten, it wouldn't be shaped like a taco." - Nathan's, Washington, D.C. "Hey Nike, I just did it!" - Tastee Diner, Bethesda, MD (Share this joke with a friend!) The jokes posted in this site were not composed by myself and I claim no copyright for them. This page and it's content, except where otherwise noted, are copyright ©2004 by Jim Watts. Last updated 2004-04-11 |