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Biggest Lies 1. The check is in the mail. 2. I'll respect you in the morning. 3. I'm from your government, and I am here to help you. 4. It's only a cold sore. 5. You get this one; I'll pay next time. 6. My wife doesn't understand me. 7. Trust me, I'll take care of everything. 8. Of course I love you. 9. I am getting a divorce. 10. Drinking? Why, no, Officer. 11. I never inhaled. 12. It's not the money; it's the principle of the thing. 13. I never watch television except for PBS. 14. ...but we can still be good friends. 15. She means nothing to me. 16. Dont worry, I can go another 20 miles when the gauge is on "empty." 17. I gave at the office. 18. Don't worry; he's never bitten anyone. 19. I'll call you later. 20. We'll release the upgrade by the end of the year. 21. Read my lips: no new taxes 22. I've never done anything like this before 23. Now, I'm going to tell you the truth 24. It's supposed to make that noise. 25. I love your new ____! 26. ...then take a left. You can't miss it. 27. Yes, I did. 28. Don't worry, it's OK -- I'm sterile. (Share this joke with a friend!) The jokes posted in this site were not composed by myself and I claim no copyright for them. This page and it's content, except where otherwise noted, are copyright ©2004 by Jim Watts. Last updated 2004-04-11 |