Jokes Jokes Archive > Ponderables & Lists > Biggest Lies

Biggest Lies


1.  The check is in the mail.

2.  I'll respect you in the morning.

3.  I'm from your government, and I am here to help you.

4.  It's only a cold sore.

5.  You get this one; I'll pay next time.

6.  My wife doesn't understand me.

7.  Trust me, I'll take care of everything.

8.  Of course I love you.

9.  I am getting a divorce.

10.  Drinking?  Why, no, Officer.

11.  I never inhaled.

12.  It's not the money; it's the principle of the thing.

13.  I never watch television except for PBS.

14.  ...but we can still be good friends.

15.  She means nothing to me.

16.  Dont worry, I can go another 20 miles when the gauge is on "empty."

17.  I gave at the office.

18.  Don't worry; he's never bitten anyone.

19.  I'll call you later.

20.  We'll release the upgrade by the end of the year.

21.  Read my lips: no new taxes

22.  I've never done anything like this before

23.  Now, I'm going to tell you the truth

24.  It's supposed to make that noise.

25.  I love your new ____!

26.  ...then take a left.   You can't miss it.

27.  Yes, I did.

28.  Don't worry, it's OK -- I'm sterile.

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This page and it's content, except where otherwise noted, are copyright ©2004 by Jim Watts.
Last updated 2004-04-11