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He Who Dies With the Most Toys
The following is a comparison of philosophical theories in the late 20th century...
Capitalism: He who dies with the most toys, wins.
Hari Krishna: He who plays with the most toys, wins.
Catholicisim: He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
Anglican: They were our toys first.
Greek Orthodox: No, they were ours first.
Atheism: There is no toy maker.
Polytheism: There are many toy makers.
Evolutionism: The toys made themselves.
Church of Christ Scientist: We are the toys.
Communism: Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you are in big trouble if we catch you selling yours.
B'Hai: All toys are just fine with us.
Amish: Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
Taoism: The doll is as important as the dump truck.
Morminism: Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
Voodoo: Let me borrow that toy for a second.
Hinduism: He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.
7th Day Adventist: He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.
Southern Baptist: If your toy is a Disney product, you have a one-way ticket to Hell.
Jehovah's Witness: He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
Pentecostalism: He whose toys can talk, wins.
Existentialism: Toys are a figment of your imagination.
Confucianism: Once a toy is dipped in water, it is no longer dry.
Non-denominationalism: We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play with them.
Agnosticism: It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of difference.
Unitarian Universalism: We still haven't decided if the toys exist.
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Last updated 2004-04-11