Jokes Jokes Archive > Signs & Labels > Odd Signs From England

Odd Signs From England


In a laundromat:
   Automatic washing machines.  Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

In a london department store:
   Bargain Basement Upstairs.

In an office:
   Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

In an office:
   After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

On a church door:
   This is the gate of Heaven.  Enter ye all by this door.  (This door is kept locked because of the draft.  Please use side entrance)

Outside a second hand shop:
   We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines, etc.  Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

Quicksand warning:
   Quicksand!  Any person passing this point will be drowned.  By order of the District Council.

Notice in a dry cleaner's window:
   Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

In a health food shop window:
   Closed due to illness.

Spotted in a safari park:
   Elephants Please Stay In Your Car.

Seen during a conferenceL
   For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

Notice in a field:
   The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.

Message in a leaflet:
   If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.

On a repair shop door:
   We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)

Spotted in a toilet in a London office block:
   Toilet out of order.  Please use floor below.

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This page and it's content, except where otherwise noted, are copyright ©2004 by Jim Watts.
Last updated 2004-04-11