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Signs & Labels
> Product Instructions and Warnings
Product Instructions and Warnings
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
On Teco's Tiramisu dessert:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
On Swedish chain saw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
Spotted in a toilet of a London office:
Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.
In a Laundromat:
Automatic washing machines: Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
In a London department store:
Bargain Basement upstairs.
In an office:
Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.
In an office:
After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
Outside a secondhand shop:
We exchange anything: Bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?
Notice in health food shop window:
Closed due to illness
Spotted in a safari park:
Elephants please stay in your car.
Seen during a conference:
For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the 1st floor.
Notice in a farmer's field:
The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
Message on a leaflet:
If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
On a repair shop door:
We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door, the bell doesn't work.)
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The jokes posted in this site were not composed by myself and I claim no copyright for them.
This page and it's content, except where otherwise noted, are copyright ©2004 by Jim Watts.
Last updated 2004-04-11