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How Old Are You Mom?
One Saturday morning, 9-year-old little Johnny sat at the kitchen counter and asked his mom some questions. "Mom, how old are you?"
His mom replied, "Well Johnny there are certain questions you should never ask a woman because she won't tell you. That's one of those questions, and I am not going to tell you."
Johnny thinks a little more and says, "Mom, how much do you weigh?"
Mom replies, "Well Johnny, that's another one of those questions you should never ask a woman because she won't tell you, and I am not going to answer that."
Johnny thinks some more and tries again. "Mom, why did you and dad get divorced?"
"Well Johnny, I think you are just a little to young to understand what happened between your father and I, we'll talk about it more when you're older. Now enough of these questions, go outside and play."
So Johnny huffs off and goes outside. He's moping around when along comes his friend Mikey. Mikey asks, "Johnny why so glum, what's the matter?"
"I asked my mom some questions about herself, but she wouldn't tell me anything!"
Mikey thinks for a moment and says, "Here's what you need to do. Go into your mom's purse, take out her driver's license and take a look. That will tell you everything you want to know about your mom."
So Johnny goes back in the house, finds his mom's purse, looks at her driver's license and sure enough there are the answers to all his questions.
Later on he is back in the kitchen with his mom. "Mom, I know how old you are, you're 33."
"Well, that's right Johnny, how did you find that out?"
"I'm not telling how I know. And I know how much you weigh, you weigh 125 pounds."
"Oh my gosh, that's right, how did you find this out?"
"A man never reveals his sources. And I know why you and Dad got a divorce."
Mom responds tentatively, "Oh, why?"
"Because you got an 'F' in sex!"
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Last updated 2004-04-11